Redlining Monadnock
Mother Monadnock…she is our home mountain and our training ground and she holds a special place in our hiking history and in our hearts. We’ve climbed Mt. Monadnock a ton of times. (Pat used to live right across the street from the Old Toll Road parking lot!) But we never made an effort to keep track of our home hikes. We finally decided to redline Monadnock in 2022. Making the effort to cover every inch of trails on our home mountain felt like a spiritual quest – a way to honor Mother Monadnock for all she has given us. She is a beautiful mountain with awesome trails and we earned a gorgeous patch!
| Trails | Date |
| Parker Tr, Lost Farm Tr, Hinkley Tr, Harling Tr, Cascade Link, Old Ski Path | 7/12/2022 |
| Royce Trail, Hello Rock, Pt Surprise, Doo Drop, Noble Tr, Monte Rosa, Thoreau Trail | 6/21/2022 |
| Pumpelly, Amphitheater, Fairy Spring | 6/16/2022 |
| Birchcroft Trail, Spellman, Red Spot, Pumpelly | 6/8/2022 |
| White Arrow, White Dot, White Cross, Smith Connector | 5/31/2022 |
| Marlborough Trail | 5/14/2022 |
| Cliff Walk | 5/7/2022 |
| Dublin Trail | 4/26/2022 |
| Old Toll Rd, Cart Path, Mossy Brook, Marion Trail, Great Pasture Tr, Smith Summit, White Arrow, Sidefoot | 4/22/2022 |
Date: April 22, 2022
Trails: Old Toll Rd, Cart Path, Mossy Brook, Great Pasture Tr, Smith Summit, White Arrow, Sidefoot
Written by Pat
Nancy has a new haircut! I think it looks great. We started up the mountain at 11:00 am. As we trek over dead oak leaves, we talk. At one point, Nancy stops us and says she has something she wants to tell me, that it isn’t about me, but about her. Okay. Heart open. I quiet my breathing and listen. She says that telling her that I’m smoking marijuana awakens some trauma, specifically about her brother. She knows me. She knows I have addiction issues and seeing me using a drug for pain relief and sleep, with the added side effect of getting high, is hard for her to deal with. She’s concerned and knows some of her concerns are augmented by trauma. I believe she cares.
Nothing in the rest of our conversations equaled the depth and intensity of that confession.
As usual, our connection feels bold and wonderful. I have less fear to deal with this time. That eases my soul. It’s wonderful to feel so comfortable in love as I feel hiking with Nancy.
***
Written by Nancy
I think it is the companionable silence we share when we hike that I love most. No, maybe it’s the honesty and vulnerability that fill our conversations. Well, then there’s the support we give each other, and the trust we have in each other. Then there’s the awe we share surrounded by all that natural beauty. Maybe the best part of hiking together is the concern we have for one another if one of us falls, or is nervous. Or the laughter that bubbles up when we say or do something funny. No, I think the best part of hiking is knowing Pat is breathing just as hard as I am, both of us determined to get our old bodies to the top of the mountain…I love that.
Date: April 26, 2022
Trail: Dublin Trail
Written by Nancy
On our hike this week, Pat and I turned around. Turning around, on a mountain or in life is hard. On the surface it feels like admitting failure or giving up. But that’s not it! Turning around, saying no more, deciding to stop doing something, is a courageous act of loving yourself! Turning around is turning within, recognizing the signs of body fatigue, pain, fear or anxiety, and honoring that feeling. Most of us spend a lifetime learning to love ourselves. When we love ourselves we have more of our authentic beings to give to others—to our partners, families, community, and to the world. Turning around is a gift to self, which is ultimately a gift to a loving world.
***
Written by Pat
Yesterday’s hike up the Dublin Trail to the summit of Monadnock is only partially realized. After all the layers are peeled back, it is clear I don’t want to hike on Tuesday. My legs are still tired from Friday’s effort. The cloudy day turns rainy when I start my drive. I text Nancy who says it isn’t raining there. The grey day depresses my psyche. I crave the sun.
As soon as we start up the trail, I begin a lengthy stretch of stop and go as I try to catch my breath. I feel lethargic and tired. As the terrain becomes steeper and slabbier, my anxiety begins to rise. The trail itself is ugly – wide, eroded, and overused.
The first challenging spot is a step up on a slab without an obvious spot for a foothold. I put my left foot on a nubbin, hoping it will hold when suddenly I slip. I only fall a few feet, but I bruise my right hip and strain my bad shoulder. My anxiety ratchets up a few more notches.
I drop my pants to look at where I fell and it looks bruised with a round scraped area. I pull up my pants, put on my pack, and keep going. I can tell Nancy is not ready to stop. Initially, I feel ready to turn around but decide to keep going.
A short while later, I feel wetness through my pants and see blood. We stop, for the umpteenth time, and Nancy puts a patch on the wound to keep more blood off my pants.
I keep hiking, becoming focused. As I climb, my anxiety rises with each complicated area that we pass through. I keep thinking of going down and anxiety churns in my gut. We never reach tree line and never know how close we come to the summit.
It probably isn’t much farther, but I finally realize and admit that I am done. I stop and tell Nancy I am turning us around. I hate being the one who turns us around, but I know I am done. While the decision feels right, I still carry so much anxiety that it isn’t until we finally get off the slabs that I start feeling better.
We are distant from each other. At least, that’s how it feels to me. Stewing in my own juices, I find I think about everything negative that is happening between us. We talk about how we are feeling as we head down and touch on many good points. Nancy senses that something isn’t quite right with me. I wish I was more self-aware. Even the drive home feels off.
Date: May 7, 2022
Trail: Cliff Walk
Written by Pat
Yesterday, Nancy and I hike Monadnock for the third time since we started training. I choose Cliff Walk. It is windy and cool, and I forget how steepsteep the trail is when coming off the Parker Trail.
I am conscious of my heart and of a low-grade anxiety about falling. It’s just a feeling and anxiety surges as we near the White Arrow Trail. I am pretty wrapped up in dealing with my anxiety. We start up White Arrow and stop for a breather. I am full of angst and actually start to cry. I feel anxious about getting up those damn tricky areas. I am sunk so deep in anxiety that I’m blow away when I am able to find someplace deep inside me that is calm, capable, and able to climb to the top.
I start walking and my whole being changes. I’m fine, focused, and able to get to the top without a slip. I feel warm inside having done it, but it is cold and howling a gale on top.
Needless to say, we don’t stay up there for long.
Date: May 14, 2022
Trail: Marlborough Trail
Written by Nancy
Have you ever watched someone gather herself? Go from all over the place, tears and fear to finding her center, strength and courage? I watched Pat do just that a few weeks ago on Monadnock. She had slipped and fallen the hike before, scratched up her leg and hurt her shoulder. The experience rattled her. Age has a way of upping the ante on falls so we feel more vulnerable and take less risks; we tend to be more cautious and careful. Her fall reminded her that slips can have serious consequences, and her fear blinded her to the strength and strong ability to climb in her center. But she gathered herself. I watched her. She took a moment. Slowed everything down, listened inside to the voice that said she had climbed Monadnock many many times. That she could do this. And then she took a step, and then the next step. Her confidence returned. Reaching the top was an affirmation of what she already knew; she could do it.
Pat’s courage reminded me that when I feel all over the place, angry, scared or upset, that I too can gather myself, pull myself from that fragmented emotional place into the strength of my being where I know who I am. We all have this in us. Sometimes we just need to slow things down and focus inside, ignoring the voice of fear, anger and our past, to find our strong confident center inside.
In the world today, with mass shootings and a climate crisis and an insurrection, I have to spend more and more time inside, finding my center and holding firm in my heart.
***
Written by Pat
Yesterday on Monadnock, we have temperatures in the 80s and sunny weather with a dose of black flies tossed in. I’m not at my best, but the Marlborough Trail is one of the easiest trails, if any top to bottom trail on Monadnock is easy.
My legs start to turn to jelly about 2/3s of the way up. Lots of resting happens. Sweat drips off my arms, hands, head, and down my shins. Above tree line, the trail is familiar. Nancy and I have a good time but never form a close bond. We are in our own worlds as we slog up hill.
Date: May 31, 2022
Trails: White Arrow, White Dot, White Cross, Smith Summit
Written by Pat
I’m not into hiking, not feeling like doing the 2 1/2 hour drive, so my momentum is pitifully small. I don’t know why I’m struggling to find the joy in hiking. I know I’m tired of hiking Monadnock, and the idea of redlining all the trails doesn’t instill me with desire or excitement. I’m tired of struggling up that rockpile from a bunch of different angles. I’m ready for a change, but Nancy says hiking up north is worse than hiking Monadnock. Longer trails and more elevation gain.
We begin our hike at 9:30 am and walk the hated toll road to the hallway house area before picking up White Arrow to the top. I am slow and out of breath. I keep having to stop and catch my breath. White Arrow is a mile-long trail made of rocks and boulders and slabs. We eat lunch at the top and then descend the White Dot to White Cross Trail and then over to Cliff Walk via Smith Summit.
Nancy and I are on such different wavelengths as far as hiking is concerned. She’s fit and easily climbs Monadnock. She leads the whole way while I struggle to pull up the rear.
Date: June 8, 2022
Trails: Birchcroft Trail, Spellman, Red Spot, Pumpelly
Written by Pat
It is a big day on Monadnock yesterday. We meet at Gilson Pond campground. I arrive first, so I put on my boots and bug spray. It is sunny and breezy. The two miles of the Birchcroft Trail aren’t too difficult. The second mile is steeper and rockier. When we reach the intersection with Cascade Link, we turn right for a while until we approach the Spellman Trail. The last time we did Spellman, there were ladders on the trail, but they have since been removed and the trail has been reoriented on a different line, able to be climbed with hands and feet.
A couple of times extra attempts to get up are required but get up we do. Eventually the trail levels out and we come to the intersection with the Pumpelly Trail. We hop onto Pumpelly, and I am dragging. It is one o’clock and I’m hungry, so I lag a bit as we slog toward the summit.
Taking a break and eating helps me recover both morale and physical strength. Nancy leads us up Pumpelly where we takea right on Red Spot. This trail is a mile long and not easy to navigate. When we finally return to the Birchcroft Trail, I am more than ready to be off the steeps.
The last two miles are a slog. Sitting down on her bumper with a cold seltzer in my hand makes it all worthwhile.
So glad I am able to rise to the occasion.
6.23 miles, 1,803 feet of elevation gain
***
Written by Nancy
The beauty in the mountains is astonishing. The flowers! Monadnock has been covered with delicate white and pink flowers in every nook and crevice of rock above treeline and we found a sweet garden of painted trillium along a trailside. The vast glorious views always take my breath away no matter how many times I’ve been to the summit. And there is beauty in our fellow hikers. The last few times we hiked we met women who recognized us from our It’s Not About the Hike presentation and book. What a thrill to hear, “Hey, I know you two! You’re Pat and Nancy! I went to your presentation. I have your book!” What a gift to be remembered and greeted so kindly and told we mattered. Each time it happens I want to hold onto the moment, so I can relish the feeling of being remembered. I always thank them for their kindness and tell them their words have touched us.
There is incredible beauty in the mountains—the views, the flowers, the people. In a world turned upside down, I hold onto the beauty all around me to ground me, to give me courage to hold on and stay positive. The beauty gives me hope.
Date: June 16, 2022
Trails: Pumpelly, Amphitheater, Fairy Spring
Written by Nancy
In our quest to redline Monadnock, we’ve been lucky enough to witness spring on the mountain. It is as if the flowers are bringing the mountain to life. I stop at every flower sighting. I exclaim over their beauty, smell them, take pictures, marvel at the intricate details, then realize the flowers are everywhere and if I stop at all of them we’ll never reach the summit. But it’s hard walking past them. Looking closely at the sheep laurel, or the strawberry flowers, does more than just give me a chance to catch my breath. Gazing at them, their beauty gets infused in me and, for that moment, me and the flowers are together in a breath that feels spiritual. In that instant, the awesomeness of life fills me. I wish I could hold onto the experience, but I can’t. The feeling is fleeting and slips away, unnoticed, as I work my way up the mountian. Until I come upon another sheep laurel shrub, this one light pink and so delicate and I can’t help but stop again.
***
Written by Pat
Yesterday Nancy and I hike approximately 6.5 miles in Monadnock. Pumpelly Trail to the top, then down White Arrow where we pick up Amphitheatre and Fairy Spring. Although the day is cool, overcast, and breezy, we have a good day. I hike well until the last half mile of scrambling when my legs begin their foray into tiredness. I maintain my humor, quite a difference from my meltdowns on previous hikes.
Date: June 21, 2022
Trails: Royce Trail, Hello Rock, Pt. Surprise, Doo Drop, Monte Rosa, Thoreau Trail
Written by Pat
I struggled with depression from last weekend until Monday. Grey days, cool days, empty days. I do a lot of nothing. Then comes Tuesday, Monadnock hike day with a challenging series of trails to hike. We start off walking on Rte. 124 to down to the entrance of the Royce Trail (Metacomet), which is a gradual up but takes my breath away. The overcast, cool day does nothing to bring me out of depression. Nancy and talk about it. I feel she is so focused on being fit for our trip that there is little room in her world for my messy anxiety and melancholy. She tries to be compassionate, but it comes across as an explanation of why she is focused on succeeding with these training hikes.
We walk until we reach the halfway house and talk about the next steps. I suggest we hike the 4 short trails and we can decide where to go next when we reach the end. I lead on Hello Rock Trail. Nancy leads Pt. Surprise Trail. I lead the Thoreau Trail and Nancy leads us down the very steep Doo Drop Trail. We are back at the halfway house. I feel okay, sweating hard, and willing to go up to Monte Rosa. We hike to where the trail intersects the White Arrow Trail and start up.
I feel hungry and we split a bar. My stomach feels off all day. We climb to Monte Rosa and eat and rest for a whole. Short rests on the climb rarely give back enough energy to help me, but I need them to recoup my wind. After lunch, which I don’t finish, I decide, albeit a little reluctantly, to try for the top via the Smith Summit Trail.
Up we go, with Nancy encouraging me the whole way. I am glad to have achieved the summit, glad I don’t disappoint either of us…again. We descend from the summit, find a nice spot, and finish our lunches. Another good rest to allows me to recharge.
We head down the steep section of the Marlborough Trail to the intersection of the Marian Trail. Once down the steeps, we head into wooded, ferny areas and the Mossy Brook Trail. By this time, I am tired and pretty much done. The hardest part of the day is walking the mile down the toll road that never ends.
I am proud of both of us, but boy, am I tired. Yesterday in PT, I felt the effects of the hike on my shoulder, but it didn’t interfere. I feel the PT has helped my shoulder – I can tuck in my shirt with only mild discomfort. I need to start a weight program.
***
Written by Nancy
I need some peace. So I go where I always go—the woods. It’s a relief to get out of the 90-degree sun and into the shade and there is a slight stirring of the air around me, for which I’m grateful. The path invites me into the sanctuary of the towering pines and babbling brook. I smell the sweetness of the partridgberry flowers, the delicate white flowers that line the path on either side of me. They are everywhere and the smell is divine. I stop and breathe. A few more steps and the shade ends, temporarily, and the sun beats down on the pine needles on the trail, making it smell like Christmas. As I walk along the brook, mini waterfalls sing a song.
Grace is splashing in the water. She lies down in it, then comes out and shakes on me, sharing the joy, and then rolls on the warm earth.
There are daisies growing in the sunny section, and some raspberries that will be ready in a few weeks. Back in the shade, the sweet fragrance of the partridgeberry flowers fills me up again, and I walk slower. I head back to the creek so Grace can play in the water again. Once she is thoroughly wet, we head home.
The stress is always there…but so is the peace.
Date: July 12, 2022
Trails: Parker Tr, Lost Farm Tr, Hinkley Tr, Harling Tr, Cascade Link, Old Ski Path
Written by Nancy
Stick-to-itiveness. We finished redlining Monadnock on Tuesday, walking every inch of trail on the magnificent mountain. It took us 12 hikes—68 miles and 22,307 feet elevation gain. It was a magnificent adventure.
Our last hike required some stick-to-itiveness on our not-so-young parts. We only had 4.7 miles of trails left to finish the journey; all lower trails, so elevation gain should not be that much since we weren’t going to the summit. But 4.7 turned into 11.24 miles (we had to go out and back on some trails and hike trails we had already hiked) and not much elevation gain turned into 2,356 feet. I know that is not much to most of you. It was not much to us when we finished climbing the Hundred Highest ten years ago. But we were tired. I took a face plant near the end, so in the picture below, my face is covered with dirt.
But look at the next picture we took along the trail. An acorn fell and landed on a branch and stayed there! How does that happen? I wondered about that often on the hike, until I realized we had something in common with the acorn—Stick-to-itiveness! The wonder of nature around us and the support of each other got us to the end. With gratitude to Mt. Monadnock for providing lots of moments of awe and grace and beauty along the way.